in the toy chest, bobbing out at sea

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In the news

Supermarket Terror
boston - Dozens of private citizens and several members of the city's fire department are being treated today after being exposed to good music at a local Safeway. read on

News In Brief: Sobriety Addiction More Common
Washington - Figures released today by the Center for Interminable Assertions (CIA) show that sobriety addiction - a condition believed to be suffered by at least 20% of the population world-wide - has become significantly more prevalent over the last decade.read on

Fingers are just Really Long Toes
Reykjavik - Zany Icelandic researchers wearing white fur lined jackets and stylish wrap around sunglasses have announced today that, in most cases, what people refer to as their "fingers" are in actuality "just really long toes."read on

Study: Reading Causes Cancer
A landmark study released by the University of Washington this morning demonstrates a direct relationship between the occurence of most types of cancer and reading.read on

Planet Earth Rolling over in its grave
The planet earth appears to literally be rolling over in its grave, according to a Scientists working for the Center for Interminable Assertions (CIA). A report released today by the CIA indicates that, in contrast to earlier postulations that Earth may have simply been rotating due to low frictional resistance encountered as it moves through space, its rotation is actually powered by "deep-seated feelings of post-mortem indignation." read on

the heap

the heap (formerly: "second string") is where I toss things that don't belong anywhere else. enjoy!
most recently thrown onto the heap:

08.16.05 - more fan mail for andrew

Ah yes, my buddy andrew (of drink hut fame) is a ladies' man. Point of fact, he doesn't even have to meet women before they fall at his feet. For several years now, andrew has received a steady stream of fan mail from the women of the world due to a modest website he maintains related to his crocheting hobby. Here is the latest installment:

Date: 15 Aug 2005
Subject: About your site..

Hey there! Just saw your website, love the crochet patterns and will give some of them a try :)

I hope you are single cause I want to marry you :) I LOVE your stuff!

x)
Have a nice day
Veronica from Spain.

aww! ..more from andrew's fans as he forwards it.

06.22.05 - aphex twin + wikipedia = windex trivia.

This will interest a few people very much, and most people not at all: Via Discogs.com, I arrived this morning at the wikipedia.org article on electronic musician aphex twin. Generally, the article doesn't offer to much by way of enlightenment (even more so since celebrity bio's are inherently boring).. but what it does offer is the most comprehensive list of aphex twin's aliases that i've seen. included in the list is a rap group called "manor boys." whoo-a nelly! who knew? it also features the single silliest picture of aphex twin in existence.

06.15.05 - the White collar blues.

From professional anemiac D.h. Lawrence comes a remarkably apt description of that sinking feeling you have at the end of the weekend:
from "women in love," chapter 15: sunday morning - "To-morrow was Monday. Monday, the beginning of another school week! Another shameful, barren school-week, mere routine and mechanical activity. Was not the adventure of death infinitely preferable? Was not death infinitely more lovely and noble than such a life? A life of barren routine, without any real significance. How sordid life was, how it was a terrible shame to the soul, to live now! How much cleaner and more dignified to be dead! One could not bear any more of this shame and sordid routine and mechanical nullity. One might come to fruit in death. She had had enough."

Preach it, D! Yeah! Mondays sure do suck! Can I get someone to testify?

the compost-intelligencer:

-Click here for the heap archives.

What's New?

August 09, 2005

- Popular Poll With the newest poll in its second week, we have three votes in, and an early frontrunner! how exciting - oh, and I should mention one thing, parenthetically.. (someone recently recommended that I should annotate which votes are real and which are made-up. joke's on you, you fool! i don't make any of them up. they're all submitted by my devoted reader/s.)

July 25, 2005

- Comics Well, Chris Dreyer finally got off of his laurels and wrote another episode of his comic 'the bench.' Welcome back, chris. See below!

July 19, 2005

- In the News Could your children be in danger.. at the grocery store? See the news page to find out!

- Popular Poll At long last, the scooter issue has been settled. Turns out a scooter is even faster than how awesome it is. And I can guarantee that is it pretty dang awesome, so it must be pretty fast too. Check out the new poll at right.

what's old

- click here for the what's new archives.

comics

new - comics!
most recent posts

July 25, 2005
the bench - "summer adjustments"
by chris dreyer

March 16, 2005
the bench - "one"
by chris dreyer

butane boy - "A squared plus B squared = heartbreak!"
by matt bailey

Popular Poll:

Current Totals:

Recent Voter Responses:

vote: you can't imagine how good a cocktail would taste right now.
reason: "i don't know what an imaginary number is.. and you technically coouuuld disable the smoke alarm.. plus I can always go for a drink. hell-oooo!"
- red toadz, 08/05/2005

vote: find the square root of an imaginary number? why not solve world hunger while you're at it?!
reason: "the square root of (imaginary square) is, of course, (imaginary line). thus speaketh the lord of the wingz. six wings for $6.99. free delivery."
- Hamdrewburglar, 08/05/2005

vote: find the square root of an imaginary number? why not solve world hunger while you're at it?!
reason: "I've been thinking about this for about 4.2 solid minutes."
- Angie, 08/03/2005